Why have I been chronically behind in writing my blog?
Why do I obsess and re-write my DMP over and over…..taking a light year to “get it just right”?
What am I pretending not to know?
Here’s the thing. My mind and my heart are exploding with insight and epiphanies lately. I have experienced challenge, loss and rebirth. This course has changed my life – there’s no going back. I BELIEVE I am whole, perfect, strong, powerful, loving, harmonious and happy. I BELIEVE I will manifest my DMP. For the first time in 58 years I BELIEVE I know my purpose, my Dharma. And finally – I’ve gotten off my butt the past 2 weeks and started taking action on the things that will fund my SMART goals. It’s exhilarating,. It’s FUN. And news flash….people are showing up effortlessly and responding positively, almost all the time.
So after stressing and procrastinating and worrying about writing my blog every week – and often being late – I’M DONE. My old blueprint doesn’t get to dictate things anymore, like why I must pick some profound, perfectly-worded, inspiring topic each week so that everyone understands me perfectly, are impressed with my use of the English language, whatever. Years of feeling this need to be perfectly understood all the time has sadly caused a previously articulate person to gradually talk and write WAY too much…to loathe the whole process …..and hence – to procrastinate whenever I’m given a mandate to do so. SO……a bit of honesty here…..I’ve dreaded this blogging requirement every week since we started this course. Notice I combined Week’s 19 and 20 because I was behind. Why? I’ve been pondering for 8 days what topic I should write on. I’ve started and deleted more than once. I’ve been on a big pity party because life has been hard lately, throwing me huge curve balls – challenges to test whether or not I could “keep up” with the daily exercises, causing me to observe and override my old perfectionist, controlling crap. And guess what? I’m still here, doing my best. And better for it.
SO….allow me to publicly THANK YOU, Mark and Davene, for requiring us to blog, engage and mastermind in the members area. I still babble when I’m occasionally called upon to talk during a mastermind segment after the webinar ( I just told you I was speechless…..and I meant it. Then I babbled anyway).