Monthly Archives: February 2015

Weeks 19 and 20- I’m Done!

Why have I been chronically behind in writing my blog?

Why do I obsess and re-write my DMP over and over…..taking a light year to “get it just right”?

What am I pretending not to know?

Here’s the thing.  My mind and my heart are exploding with insight and epiphanies lately.  I have experienced challenge, loss and rebirth.  This course has changed my life – there’s no going back.  I BELIEVE I am whole, perfect, strong, powerful, loving, harmonious and happy. I BELIEVE I will manifest my DMP.  For the first time in 58 years I BELIEVE I know my purpose, my Dharma.  And finally – I’ve gotten off my butt the past 2 weeks and started taking action on the things that will fund my SMART goals.  It’s exhilarating,.  It’s FUN.  And news flash….people are showing up effortlessly and responding positively, almost all the time.

So after stressing and procrastinating and worrying about writing my blog every week – and often being late – I’M DONE.  My old blueprint doesn’t get to dictate things anymore, like why I must pick some profound, perfectly-worded, inspiring topic each week so that everyone understands me perfectly, are impressed with my use of the English language, whatever.  Years of feeling this need to be perfectly understood all the time has sadly caused a previously articulate person to gradually talk and write WAY too much…to loathe the whole process …..and hence – to procrastinate whenever I’m given a mandate to do so.  SO……a bit of honesty here…..I’ve dreaded this blogging requirement every week since we started this course.  Notice I combined Week’s 19 and 20 because I was behind.  Why?  I’ve been pondering for 8 days what topic I should write on.  I’ve started and deleted more than once.  I’ve been on a big pity party because life has been hard lately, throwing me huge curve balls – challenges to test whether or not I could “keep up” with the daily exercises, causing me to observe and override my old perfectionist, controlling crap.  And guess what?  I’m still here, doing my best.  And better for it.

SO….allow me to publicly THANK YOU, Mark and Davene, for requiring us to blog, engage and mastermind in the members area.  I still babble when I’m occasionally called upon to talk during a mastermind segment after the webinar ( I just told you I was speechless…..and I meant it.  Then I babbled anyway).

Lori

 

Week 18 – Reading the Obituaries

One of the things we’ve been doing in the Master Key course these past 2 weeks is reading an obituary every day.  Ironically, this exercise started the Monday after my mother passed away, so it seemed meaningful, bittersweet and appropriate to begin by reading hers.  Though my siblings and I wrote it the week before, reading it this time, along with watching the wonderful slide show my daughter made for her memorial service just gave me another opportunity to sit and really reflect on what a wonderful, long, love-filled life she lived.  It certainly set the stage for me to begin reading the obituaries in our local paper with a whole different perspective than I ever would have before.  Sadly, 4 of my friends also lost a parent in these past 2 weeks, so several of the obituaries I read were for their loved ones.  It’s kept my own loss all mixed in as I’ve reached out to support my friends and send them my condolences.  When reading their obituaries I felt compelled to understand as much as I possibly could about their lives, how old they were, what they did, how and why they happened to pass away at this time.

I used to wonder why some people read the obituaries daily ….it seemed depressing to me.  I mean, it’s one thing if you know a person passed and you’re looking for the information on their memorial, etc.  But why would you go in there daily just to go browse through them? Is it to see if you ever recognize someone you once knew?

Clearly by design – the timing of everything in the MKMMA is so carefully thought out, so impactful.  I see the wonderful gift in the requirements to read Scroll 5 for 30 days and an obituary of someone I never knew every day.  I am clearly grieving – the recent loss of 2 parents, for sure.  But also the slow, difficult loss of the OLD ME, as we learned on last week’s webinar.  These exercises are very therapeutic and provide a great deal of insight – and for this I am very grateful.  To really take some time to stare at the picture of someone you didn’t know and read about their life, to see how long they lived, to wonder how and why their time was up…….and to wonder what they would give for one more day….. well, it’s just profound.

The wise Og Mandino:

“I will live this day as if it’s my last.  And what shall I do with this last precious day which remains in my keeping?  First, I will seal up it’s container of life so that not one drop spills itself upon the sand”

“Yesterday is buried forever and I will think of it no more”

“Tomorrow lies buried with yesterday and I will think of it no more”

“Why have I been allowed to live this extra day when others, far better than I, have departed?  Is it that they have accomplished their purpose while mine is yet to be achieved?  Is this another opportunity for me to become the person I can be?”

“I will live this day as if it’s my last.  And if it is my last, it will be my greatest monument.  This day I will make the best day of my life. I will savor it’s taste and give thanks.  I will maketh every hour count and each minute I will trade only for something of value”

“I will live this day as if it’s my last.  And if it is not, I shall fall to my knees and give thanks.”